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Our kids afflictions: the opportunity for the lotus to rise from the mud? -Montessori meets Dzogchen


Kids get sad, angry, mad, they feel all the feelings! Sometimes as adults we catch ourselves walking on eggshells. We do all we can to have a smooth day and might feel a sense of failure when our child has negative feelings.

We might feel like we are keeping it all in place like spinning multiple plates at once.


And here our child is out of the blue wanting to snatch, complain, cry. We might feel a sense of failure, like peace is gone. But is it really?

Here’s an open invitation to welcome your children’s stormy feelings and your own with a completely open heart and mind.


The truth is, these very negative feelings are the mud from which your child’s wisdom powers, kindness and compassion will rise! Like in the timeless Dzogchen metaphor of a speckless lotus rising from the mud.

Maria Montessori knew this! One of the materials that is in every Children’s House (Montessori nursery for 3-6 year olds) and that illustrates this perfectly is: the pink tower.

Why is it so amazing?

First of all the pink tower is big and it’s pink, it stacks up and makes magnificent shapes.

But most importantly there’s only one of them. For a large classroom.

You’d imagine that might cause a lot of affliction. Children might want the whole pink tower to themselves, might want to snatch, not share. Exactly, this is the point. The pink tower is part of Montessori's Education for Peace and is meant to teach social learning and development.


In the relaxed and focused environment of the classroom, feelings are welcomed and transmuted into skilful means and wisdom benefit!


The fact there is only one pink tower teaches children to access wisdom and skilful means like using a timer, taking turns, learning to wait whilst it’s someone else’s turn. In a supportive environment negative feelings can arise safely and be an opportunity for growing and learning social skills! Children learn it’s ok to not have what we want immediately. Waiting our turn can be the opportunity to observe others playing and oh wow how much can be learnt through observation.


Just like the pink lotus rises from the mud, the pink tower rises when children transmute negative feelings into social skills!


I love to remember all negative feelings are an opportunity to grow and learn. As educators we don’t need to fear negative feelings arising in our children. If a child shows me their negative feelings I am grateful I can support them to relax body and mind and access their wisdom powers!

The BeginningMind books are filled with wisdom metaphors that help transmute negative feelings into wisdom powers. It is so relaxing to bask in the text and see we can allow our negative feelings to be and rise humbly and immaculate like a lotus from the mud!

Find our BeginningMind series books here.

Discover the Pearl collection books with examples of children resting for short moments as their strong mind when stormy feelings arise here.

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